Luke 18:17 - Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. 

There is a seemingly unquenchable thirst within me that seems to drive a wench between myself and God. I sit and introspectively dwell on the horrible-rape, hunger, war, death, violence. The unfair. I often blame God and as he approaches me with his kinda love; an irreplaceable kinda love, a faithful kinda love and I find myself pulling away, wrapping my arms around my waist and setting my eyes to the floor. And there he is, his hand lingering and me staring at the cracks in the floorboards. And my thirst to understand and rationalize things that my mind was never created to understand is never satisfied. What is the kingdom of God. To me its everything that Christ died for; for me to be free from condemnation, the consequence of sin, healthy in my body, mind and soul. To receive it as a little child. When I was a child I looked at the grass and I didn't question why it was there or whether or not it was there for me. When I was a child I never linked the horrible with God. He was there and I was here and we communed with each other while this mad world spun around. I sat in the palm of his hand while it spun. God held the answers in his heart and me in his hands- and I was okay with that. Now I'll do my darndest to be okay with that again, like when I was a child, and maybe I'll lift my eyes from the floorboards. 

Gabrielle Aplin- home  

I'm a phoenix in the water,

A fish that's learnt to fly,

And i've always been a daughter,

But feathers are meant for the sky.

So i'm wishing, wishing further,

For the excitement to arrive,

It's just i'd rather be causing the chaos

Than laying at the sharp end of this knife

With every small disaster

I'll let the waters still,

Take me away to some place real...

They say home is where your heart is set in stone

is where you go when you're alone

is where you go to rest your bones.

It's not just where you lay your head

not just where you make your bed.

As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

Home... Home...

So when i'm ready to be bolder,

And my cuts have healed with time,

Comfort will rest on my shoulder,

And I'll bury my future behind.



I'll always keep you with me,

You'll be always on my mind,

But there's a shining in the shadows

I'll never know unless I try

With every small disaster

I'll let the waters still,

Take me away to some place real...

They say home is where your heart is set in stone

is where you go when you're alone

is where you go to rest your bones.

It's not just where you lay your head

not just where you make your bed.

As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

Home... Home...